Praising God In The Valley

The song above is from Psalm 121, penned by King David and sung here by Brian Doerkson from 2012. This is a song to hold onto in times of fear, doubt, or any distress to help refocus our hearts and mind. The song is a great reminder for us to continue praising God regardless of our circumstances. How are we to praise God when we are dead tired, weary, emotional, and realistically, not in the right mind at all? What does that look like for each of us who have made Jesus our LORD and Savior?

One thing I will say, after struggling the last two weeks of weariness, emotional blindness, and physical brokenness; God never left me and with no doubt sustained every part of me so my eyes would not depart Him. I am going to walk you through the verses God led me to one night when I could not sleep in the storm.  I am working on memorizing three verses so that, in dark moments, I WILL remember His promise of being at my right hand, and I WILL NOT be shaken.

For the two weeks right after finishing Chemo,in August 2018, I struggled to sleep to the point of going 4 nights with no sleep or ability to eat, when I don’t sleep, I don’t eat. My stomach began to shrink and my body got weaker and weaker. The nights of sleeplessness, I would wander and find my bible to sit and read for comfort. I remember one late afternoon, yelling at God how terrible this was and where was He and when would He let me know He was there again? I would read David’s writings over and over again as prayers to God. I was talking with my sister one day as I cried in utter weariness and she said “At least your still talking to God, right Mindy?, He can handle it. He is Greater!” I remembered telling people this too pre tumor and saying “God already knows, so what is the harm in shouting it out to Him?” From here, I began reading Psalms asking God to show Himself to me. I came to Chapter 16 and the verses 8-11 hit home and comforted me with His promise!

Psalm 16: 8-11

8I have set the LORD continually before me;
Because He is at (Not a question,God is calling me to believe in the moment of harship and struggle He is at my right hand, 9Therefore my heart is glad (Brightens Up and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also WILL dwell(meaning, to settle down, abide) securely  (felt as this was God telling me my body will settle down securely but I have to have Him before me continually, listening, obeying, humbling self).

10For You  WILL NOT (Promise) abandon my soul to Sheol;
Nor WILL (promise) You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay.

11You WILL (Promise make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence IS (Promise) fullness of joy;
 In Your right hand there ARE (promise) pleasures forever.

so I would stretch my hand out next to me as if He was grasping it, at that moment)  my right hand, I WILL NOT be shaken (honestly, when I let my mind wander on the what if I don’t get sleep again, what if my brain never shuts off, what if this is my life from now on, I went into a dark pit of fear. I am reading through this post, which was started back in February 2020, and now in July of 2020, I am battling lack of sleep once again. It was 2 nights a week ago of no sleep and then 2 more nights this week so far. Tuesday night around 9:00, I remember saying this verse out loud and begging God for sleep as I was trying somthing new to help me sleep. It was not working like the gentlemen said it would so I got to sleep around 9:57 and slept until 12:30 when my husband accidentally dropped his phone on the ground and it woke me. I was not able to go back to sleep so I watched TV from 1:00 – 3:30, grabbed my phone charger and went upstairs to the guest room with 2 tylenol and slept from 4:00 – 6:30. I have a fitbit watch that tracks my sleep, not the deep sleep, so I wonder sometimes how accurate the FitBit really is. I believe I had a lot less sleep than the watch said. I went ahead and headed downstairs around 7:00 am and decided to run before it hit 100 degrees just To get my endorphines going so my heart and mind would not sink. It did help, but not before I was hit by the ugly angry bug. My sweet husband patiently looked at me while I vented, complained and skirted around my real issue of wanting to control everything instead of accepting where God has me. Instead, I attacked Daniel for waking me up andwanted to blame him for the bad night sleep. This seems to be my MO lately. God and I have had many conversations on this specific topic and I used to, with confidence share and challenge women to walk in His faithfulness with confidence and act like it was a breeze, not fully being patient, sympathetic or empathetic with them at all. Now, I have much more sympathy, empathy for what they are walking through. When life is handing you apples it is so easy to keep your head up and with a smile. It is much harder when things are more challenging just to carry a conversation and stay focused and not feel inadequate or capable of things I was able to do before. So, to say the least, the valley has been a more common hang out for me than the mountaintops post brain cancer. I want to give you some encouragement of how to walk this path, as I am learning, each day. Here are a few things that help me.

How have I learned to praise God in this valley? Not sure I have conquered this yet but I will give you some guidelines to help along this road.

1. VERBALLY THANK GOD FOR SOMETHING.Get up each day and verbally, out loud, say something you are thankful for to God. Father, LORD, JESUS, my SAVIOR, thank you for loving me, for my family, for sunshine, for the rain, for good days, for bad days, for friends, for life, for my children, for my job or whatever you feel led to say.
2. MAKE TIME TO READ GOD’S WORD. set aside time each morning before you do anything else to just sit quietly and praise Him then open the Bible and read His words with listening, learning ears and heart. You might need to download Bible Hub app or another to help you understand or reach out to a friend to discuss which usually turns into an encouragement time that we all need these days.
3. WRITE IN A JOURNAL WHAT GOD IS TEACHING YOU. I have notebooks filled with prayers, ventings, praises lifted, verses God led me to read with what God showed me in scripture as different things would stand out, I would write the verses under the date in case I ever wanted to go back and see what was going on at that point in my life. Something you can also pass along to your children one day in hopes that they will gain insight from what you have learned or the ability to share with another in their time of struggle.
4. MAKE A PRAISE PLAYLIST ON YOUR MUSIC APP. I have a worship list,a promises of God list, Songs of Praise, Encouragement, Who I am in Christ, Who God Is, Who Jesus Is, Living For Christ, Favorite Hyms List, Healing, Blessings, Needing Rest, Holy Spirit – this one I use to start off my time with God while asking Him to come and be present with me. Have God lead you to what will help you focus on Him. Calm your heart and mind that you can sit without distractions for at least 20 – 30 minutes or more depending on how long it takes you. No set time limits as if I don’t get up before my kids, it will take me upwards of 2 hours to get through my readings depending on how many questions they have or help they may need, yes, these are the distractions so maybe find a room with a lock. I have older kids so it’s doable for me. If you have younger I don’t recommend hiding in your room with your door locked.

Make God a priority so you don’t forget to praise Him, even in the valley’s. Father, not every day is it easy to humble myself and come before you as I want to do other things first, watch tv, play with the dog, go running to beat the heat, go back to sleep, read a book, meet a friend for something, but I am fully aware that my time with you will set a presedence for my day and how I WILL be able to handle the hard moments, joyful moments, distractions and interactions in life. Please may I find favor with You when I read Your word that I WILL gain insight and understanding of your WORD or know where to go to study it deeper or with whom. Open my eyes, heart and mind to You each day LORD and grow my desire to meet with You no matter what obstacles are thrown my way that I may seek You and find You as You promise us in Matthew 7:7-8; “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you WILL find; knock and the door WILL be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door WILL be opened.” This is a promise God gives us that if we seek Him, we WILL find Him. Amen.

I know you may be tired, weary and wanting to give up. Please don’t. Keep lifting Your eyes to Jesus, THE WAYMAKER, SAVIOR, HELPER, HEALER, ROCK, REFUGE, RESTORER, REDEEMER. FORGIVER, RESTGIVER, Here is a song King David penned, the commentaries are not sure if was when he was facing battle or just during his travels he wrote this, but Matthew Henry’s Commentary writes: “But we need not thus appropriate it; wherever we are, at home or abroad, we are exposed to danger more than we are aware of; and this psalm directs and encourages us to repose ourselves and our confidence in God, and by faith to put ourselves under his protection and commit ourselves to his care, which we must do, with an entire resignation and satisfaction, in singing this psalm. I. David here assures himself of help from God (v. 1, 2). II. He assures others of it (v. 3-8).

I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?

2My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

3He will not allow your foot to slip; your Protector will not slumber.

4Behold, the Protector of Israel will not slumber or sleep.

5The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is the shade on your right hand.

6The sun will not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.

7The LORD will guard you from all evil; He will preserve your soul.

8The LORD will watch over your coming and going, both now and forevermore

Is God’s Will​ What Is Best For Me?

“Seriously God, we just rescheduled our lives the last 3 years do to cancer throughout our family from Brain Cancer, NOn-Hodgkins lymphoma to 2 members who fought breast cancer. Now COVID-19 and all life turned upside down is what was going through my head. Tuesday night was a fight for me. I found out that for my boys to go to a youth camp in TX meant we would have to cancel our vacation plans to Montana with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law on Daniel’s side as the Christian youth camp we were sending our boys to in TX required anyone going to youth camp could not have traveled out of state for 14 days prior to camp on June 19th. I was not happy at all with this instruction. BUT, after getting off the phone with my brother, I turned to the wall in our bedroom and said aloud, “God, if this is Your Will and what You want for our boys and family, I trust You. I leave all in Your hands and want You to lead us to the right decision for what You have for us this summer.” I turned around and went to call Daniel to discuss. He was not answering his phone due to being in a meeting, I was getting frustrated and wanted to get this situation under control. FULLY aware I DON’T have any control in this world and NEVER Will. Have you EVER felt this way before? Knowing full well what I had just prayed and that I, myself had no control over this situation, my husband finally called and we discussed. He talked with the kids, I grew more ancy, He called back with a final decision which is not what I wanted but was reminded that I had given all to God and said I would trust Him. We would not go to MT and Ben alongside me and our other kids would leave for TX on June 3rd so the boys could go to youth camp with their Uncle Trey, my brother, my sister’s boys who are the same age and some of their best friends, my brothers 4 kids, who they do not get to see very often but love dearly and I get to see my family. No wrong could be found, just me wanting things done as I had planned earlier in the year. This is not the first time our plans have been interrupted nor will it be the last. So, why do I fight and throw a temper tantrum? Because of the illusion of control. While here on earth, I think I can make things happen how I want them to totally forget or maybe choosing to try to forget that God is in control of all things. Romans 11:36 explains this clearly “For everything comes from Him and exists by His power and is intended for His glory.” King David sings out in Psalm 139:16 “Your eyes saw my unformed body; ALL the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”  I have been given this life on earth to live for His glory and His plans as we are told by Paul in Ephesians 2:10 “ For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” So, how am I supposed to live this way?

1. SEEK HIS WILL and SUBMIT Yours: we are given a prayer in Matthew 6: 9-12 Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may YOUR name be kept holy. 10 May YOUR Kingdom come soon. May YOUR WILL be done on earth, as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today the food we need,[a] 12 and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. May we understand and trust God to provide each day what we need, not always what we want and trust His hand in the provisions He provides no matter how it looks. I am fully aware this is easier said than done. But, in God’s power it is doable. Let’s do this together. Stay the course because by God’s strength we will endure. Lift your eyes up to God our Father. Hebrews 12:1b-2 “And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. ² We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.^[a] Because of the joy^[b] awaiting him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.”

2. TRUST He has good for you, not to harm you. God told Jeremiah after Moses died and Joshua was leading the Israelites into the Promise Land these words: Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Please understand, this does not mean it will be easy but it gives us hope that God wants to prosper us in His way for eternity, not about gaining materialism, trips, status, but as I shared earlier from Romans 11:36, ALL IS for HIS glory, not mine. Another verse instructs us how to trust:

Psalm 3:5-6 which was the one I leaned on during my Brain Cancer Journey: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to Him, and He WILL make your paths straight.” Again, God never says easy but He will direct us and He has never let me down. It may not go as I would like, but He has never steered me wrong. So, my brothers and sisters in Christ, please keep your eyes focused on Him and not your circumstances for we have no control and NEVER will but HE DOES. He has good for us so keep the faith and keep enduring each day for one day we will stand before Him and I want to hear WELL DONE. Let’s link arms and finish strong pointing one another to Christ during this journey here on earth.

Father God, I pray for each person reading this testimony of Your faithfulness and my lacking, You remain faithful even when we don’t. You love us regardless of our doubts, fears, failures, and won’t let go. May Your presence flood anyone reading this today that they will be renewed with strength on wings like eagles so they can soar above their circumstances instead of crawling below them in fear or doubt. Remind them of Your NEVERENDING love, peace, and a life they could never imagine that You have laid out for them. Be our strength, peace, and may how we live to be an encouragement, light in this world that others will see You in and through us and draw men towards You. May Your Will be done on earth and may we humbly bow before You trusting Your hand. Thank you for your patience, love, kindness, and goodness all the days of our lives Lord. We love You, Your children.

Update on health and prayer requests

Overall things have been going very well and this past year has been good. I started working as a SPED aid at our school, in our community. The daily work from 7:30-3:30 does take a toll on the brain by the end of the day. Ever since my brain surgery in 2017 naps are gone. So, I look forward to 9:30 every night when I can lay my head down and sleep. Most nights are 5-6 hours but occasionally I wake up after 4.5 hours and can’t go back to sleep. Fortunately, our school is only a 4 day school week and Fridays I get to sleep in which is great if there is a softball tournament, the next day, with our girls requiring a 5:00 am wake up to drive an hour to be at warm-up before games. Depending on how I am doing I may sleep in and go to later games and hang out with our boys as they allow depending on what they are up to or try to talk them into going with me (Seldom works).

As of my last MRI in December, all looks good and my neurologist, Dr. Torzala, has scheduled another for the end of April with a May meeting. Still believing all is good but curious to see if anything has changed because work does make me use my brain to put sentences together, think faster as well as make decisions more than I would if I was just at home. Now, working has shown me that my immune system is not as strong as I thought it was post-treatment in 2018.

In December I came down with a case of laryngitis and then this past week I ended up with Strep and maxed at 100.5 temps. I cannot remember the last time my temperature went over 98 and thankful for the limited times as this was more painful than I remember. Today is March 7 and has felt more me with no throat hurting but anytime a yawn wants to happen it feels like my throat is going to rip apart.  These, of course, are not as bad as those with the flu or other illnesses, but it’s good to be aware that this body is still healing and hoping by the end of this first year to have a stronger immune system in place. Please keep praying for the requests below:

1.  Please pray for my body to continue to grow stronger physically as well as my immune system and that God will protect my health through the end of the school year.  I can’t take pictures at school so I posted our latest family, from December,  pic at the beginning of this post. Also, Daniel and I will be going to NYC in April for our 20th anniversary. Asking for major protection as we travel, yes, we have masks from when I was going through radiation and Chemo for the plane. We will also be taking Thieves oil hand sanitizer from my amazing sister. Prayer will be a major weapon so join us in prayer, please. We know God is in control and has us both in His Mighty hands. Thank you.
2. Larry Papizan – many of you prayed for Mr. Larry as there was a moment in December we did not know how much longer he was going to make it. I was heartbroken thinking I would not ever see him again. Larry decided to try the immunotherapy and he began to gain weight, strengthen and his family got together and his son rented an RV as he could not fly, drove him out here and called to see if we could spend some time together. Please know that these were one of the first families outside of my immediate that were spiritual parents to me. Thank You, LORD, for these amazing people who love You first and blessed me and my family’s lives for so many years. Now, with email, texting, and facetime we still are able to reconnect and communicate. I will say, God Knew Mr. Larry, Mrs. Faith and I were hoping to see each other again. In February, they made it out here for dinner and conversation, What a sweet birthday gift from God, I believe. Please continue to pray for strength, all cancer goes away and he is fully healed. We are praising God for the immunotherapy that has worked as he has gained weight, stepped back into some things but most of all he is a walking testimony of God’s love, mercy, and miraculous work. Love to your whole family Larry and Faith, Stephen, Rebecca, and Cheree
3. Faith Cowherd –   she is fighting sarcoma cancer and we are praising God that this past week was able to go home after being away for 8 long weeks having proton radiation and several rounds of chemotherapy. Please continue to lift up her and her family. You can read more about their journey through Facebook; It is a general account and anyone can access the page. Please search for “Fight For Faith” and see how you can pray for this family.

No doubt so many more need our prayers so keep lifting up all battling the coronavirus, flu, all sorts of cancers, loss, physical pains, and any other struggles satan sends to this world to distract us from Jesus. Don’t give up the fight but keep running toward Jesus and remember it is not over here on earth, more is to come for eternity!

“Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have declared so well before many witnesses”  1 Timothy 6:12

Father, It is with confidence and continued faith I lay these before you and ask you to heal their bodies, comfort them and their families on the hard days and remind them to rejoice every day for You have them and love them dearly. We still have so much more that is greater to come. Help us not slip but to hold firmly to Your promises and Truths. Continue to remind us to pray for one another and lift each other up in love, encouragement before Your Mighty Throne. You are the healer and we praise You for You ARE GOOD ALWAYS! I also want to praise You for Paul Jenkins’s healing, my continued ability to live each day, work, encourage, and minister as God leads. May each one reading this update be encouraged to continue in their walk of faith and keep fighting each day to grow closer to You regardless of the noise, busy schedules, heartaches and struggles surrounding them. May they be challenged to pray each day for one another and that Your Great Name WILL be known amongst this ever-changing world. Thank You for hearing our prayers and loving us more each day. We love You, Your children.

‘May the LORD bless you and keep you, may the LORD cause His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; may the LORD lift up His countenance toward you and give you peace.’ Numbers 6:24-26

 

 

 

The Mind Battle

THE MIND BATTLE

Have you ever felt that your mind was under attack with the “What If’s” and “Why’s” that seem to take our eyes God being in control?

I spent a week (Aug 23-Sept 1) with a team from OK and our church in AZ, along with a friend from FL, helping build a church in Teresina, Brazil. What a blessed time. Last year, 2018, I was taking my final round of chemo and could not go. Apparently, I had told my husband I felt led to go back in December and he purchased tickets but I did not remember the conversation. I was a little anxious going as it was a very busy short summer. I started a new job 3 weeks before going. SO, it was a little overwhelming making sure my work was going well, packing, my parents coming in town to watch our kids, needing a schedule of all that was going on with kids for my parents and arranging communication between church, school pick-ups, softball and anything else they might need while we were away. Leaving for the trip, I was already rushed feeling, a little anxious, not normally a road I go down, but aware I was not spiritually prepared as in past years.

We got to Teresina and I was hoping to work with a friend, serving with the children’s ministry, and I did a couple of days. I also spent time with my husband, very needed for me, while we worked on the building.  In the past, I sat in the evangelism room most days and seldom hung out at the worksite. This time, I was able to be wherever and with whomever. Really did not have a specific role. On one end that is very odd, but in hindsight, I am starting to believe God had other plans for me.  Throughout the week, I dealt with pride, frustration, disappointment, and feeling like a failure. I was asked by one of the translators, Lo, who always helped Daniel and me in the past if I was going to do a woman’s night again?. To which I quickly responded “NO”. I was not feeling confident or ready as I have been struggling with speaking, to anyone these days, much less in front of people. I have been down on myself and my abilities to speak post brain surgery. I threw her question down quickly. During the week, as I watched one of our ladies minister with passion, joy and a very sensitive spirit. I felt myself get jealous, continually thinking, that used to be me.

On Friday night, we had the new building service with a packed house as Ray Strauss spoke. During this time, I went to a lady from Ray’s group and began to just weep as I needed to talk and she was very open and willing. In the next 30 minutes to an hour, she called me out as God led her and I received it openly. She shared how she heard me say “I  want “a lot and encouraged me to turn that into “God Wants instead”. She continued on as I began to share my struggles and she gently grabbed my hands and said: “Mindy, God loves you!” The tears began to flow. I knew this but for some reason, I needed to actually hear it said. Sharon prayed for me and we went back for the end of the service.

What I have learned from my week in Brazil is that my mind was in a battle and I had been listening to the enemy. I desired to give up because things were not going the way I wanted them to go and in the way I wanted them to happen. By chance have you found yourself fighting God, comparing yourself to others, wishing you were different? Reality is that these are all self-focused questions. I have known that pride is a huge battle for me and maybe that was why God had me go on this trip. It was not until 4:15pm on September 2, that it all came together with tears flowing down my face. I was listening to Laura Story’s song Blessings and decided to look up the album,  a song titled “Grace” caught me and I felt led to listen. After getting off the phone with mom, I watched the video with the lyrics so the words could sink into my mind. I will post it now and if you have time please listen. This was exactly what was going on inside of me.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BVxAYGt2kc

Below I am going to list what God showed me and what scripture says.

1. I struggled with confidence; I keep looking back to how God had made me passionate, confident in the calling on my life before cancer. The problem was I kept looking, and living in the past of who I was before the brain tumor and thinking it was all over now and God had passed the confidence and passion on to others.
   1. PRIDE: has a way of knocking us down and taking our eyes off of God. If you notice, Pride has “I’ right in the middle. I lived this out as

“I want to do this my way, God.” Basically, I am in control attitude.

“I made this happen God.” Here, I am telling God I am putting myself in His place. The above song posted writes the lyrics this way: “I see the things You do through me as great things I have done.” Reality is, none of the things I have done are in my strength or ability but from God above and His plans. Oh, how easy it is to be swayed by the devil that we are in control and can make things happen. 1 Timothy 4 warns us against falling into deceptive spirits and teachings. How we need to be reminded of who God is and all He has done in our lives. It is too easy to think we are high and mighty; taking God’s glory instead of giving Him the glory. Even walking through cancer, I had moments where I believed I would think it was my positive thinking or strength and that holds no truth. God graciously would remind me it was not of me that I was healed, but of Him alone and solely for His glory.

Many times, since my brain surgery,  I would tell my husband, “They are so much better at that than me and maybe God is done with me.” to which a pity party ensued and I was miserable. My husband never fell for it and would immediately pray for me and no doubt is getting tired of this “woe is me” attitude. Yet, he patiently attends to me, encourages me along with challenging me to keep chasing God.

1. 1. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,” Philippians 2:3
2. I struggled with jealousy, I kept looking at my friend and saying, “I used to be that way” and jealousy would creep up on me like a snake and cause me to not rejoice in how God was using her, but instead beat myself up, which again causes the focus to be on me instead of God.
   1. JEALOUSY: takes all the joy away from us and again eyes are off God and on self. Notice the word lousy is in jealousy. That is exactly how I had begun to feel and dragging others there if I am not careful. Thankful that God never leaves us there and as the song above asks, “How Many times will You pick me up?” I love it and am so very thankful He keeps picking me up, shaping me and loving me regardless of my pity parties, selfish decisions, and the many times I try to take control. He does not give up on me and has so much for me even though I will continually let Him down, He forgives and lifts me up.
      1. “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Proverbs14:30how I wish I had read this over and over and applied to my life. I could have avoided this pain and cause for some not coming to know Christ.
3. Lastly, I struggled with SELFISHNESS: I turned to my husband one night on the bus and said, for probably the 100th time post brain cancer surgery, “I am done, I am giving up! This is too hard and basically, no one is coming to me, as if I was God. I had picked up a God complex and again, I was the miserable one, isolating myself from others instead of the other way around. This was the hardest part of the trip for me, realizing the UGLINESS living inside my heart. But if that was God’s reason for me going  then, it was worth it to see this now instead of more years of pain, and worse, possibly causing some not to follow Christ.
   1. “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and EVERY evil thing.” James 3:16

Please understand, I share this with a very heavy heart as someone out there might be struggling with these same feelings and I want to encourage you to get battle-ready: How do you do that?

1.  ARMOR UP: Ephesians 6 is the best start
2.  PRAYER: “Pray without ceasing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17 when we do this, we keep our minds on God instead of our situations or circumstances we will be covered by His peace and hand of comfort.
3. ACCOUNTABILITY: Surround yourself with godly friends to hold you up in prayer and in your daily walk. I have friends along with my husband who always holds me accountable to what I say. They also check in on me now more than ever knowing my struggles. They also see God in me and what He can do so they hold me up in prayer with this understanding, instead of my “woe is me” view and it does help me to change my point of view.

During the week in Brazil, one of the missionaries, Rodrigo, stopped me and told me he saw my old smile back. Honestly, I laughed and did not believe him,  but he said it again, and I knew it was from God. My outside had that smile but my inside was shoving it down and trying to deny it coming out. Thank you, Rodrigo, for being persistent and not letting me walk away from this conversation. God used you, friend, and I will not forget! Much love and gratefulness!!!

Maybe you can relate to some of these issues, I pray God will use this honesty to challenge you to seek Him and be in His word. Honesty can be good if used to bring people to Christ but often times it is used to uplift one’s self or to clear one’s conscience, I have been guilty of this before. So, please chase after God and seek Him out. Here is a promise from Jeremiah 29. The Israelites continued to choose what they wanted before God’s desires for them and yet He still encouraged, warned and gave them chance after chance. This is for us too. Jeremiah leaves us with a word from God to encourage us to seek His desires first; though God does not like it, He does not give up on us and will always forgive us and give us a chance to change our ways. May this be a huge encouragement for you in your struggle, whatever it may be, that God is not done with you yet. He has so much more for you if you will let Him show you your faults, let Him clean you out, forgive you, raise you up and mold you into the amazing person He still wants to be your God and use you that other’s might come to know Him. Come along with me and let’s commit to doing this together today. Jeremiah 29:11-13

“For I KNOW the PLANS that I have FOR YOU,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare (Good) and not for calamity (harm) to GIVE YOU a FUTURE and a HOPE. 12‘Then you WILL call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I WILL (promise) listen to you. 13‘You WILL seek Me and find Me WHEN you search for Me with ALL your heart.”  We are in such GREAT hands friends!!!!

Father, I pray for whoever might be reading this tonight or in the morning. I ask that Your Spirit will fall all over them in love and peace. May they no longer beat themselves up for not attaining to perfection, recognizing that is impossible, but instead turn to You and live in Your unending sufficient grace and help me to do so as well. Thank You for loving Your children who mess up time and time again. Thank You for forgiving us and giving us many chances to shine bright for You. We love you, Father, amen.  May

24″The Lord bless you and keep you;
25  the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
26  the Lord lift uphis countenance upon you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26

Have a wonderful weekend and keep looking up to God, He is waiting and ready to meet you where you are right now.

Building the Kingdom – Mission Trip Prayer Requests

The first picture is about midweek building and the second is the dedication of the church service by Friday night and people from the church and community. Tomorrow, a group of us leave for Brazil to help build a church in the coming week. Please pray for our group: Daniel Scott, Mindy Scott, Jonas Keim, Julie Keim, Kristen Smith, John Lucas, Ray Strauss, whose group we are going with this year, Ray was the church co-planter we moved out to AZ with and is now back in Oklahoma and planted another church as God led he and his family back there and so we are excited to join up again as a team to serve alongside one another again. prayer requests:

1. safe travels
2. safety in Brazil
   1. no injuries during the work we will be doing on site while building the church
   2. hearts to be open to hearing the gospel and lives to be changed.
   3. all those speaking, God will give them the words to speak and His presence all over them.
   4. Endurance as we deal with time changes, making sure we are eating enough to stay physically strong, and hydrated
   5. Please pray no one falls ill, gets plenty of sleep at night, wisdom of what places to walk into and aware of any danger that may be present.
   6. More than anything, please pray for lives to be reached and changed in Jesus’ Name! That many will come to know Him
   7. Pray God’s armor over us everyday as we are going into the spiritual battle zone daily and the enemy does not like this at all.
   8. Please pray His strength, power and protection daily as well.
   9. Pray for our families as they adjust without us and for my parents as they run my kids all over the place in the AZ heat.

Thank you all for your prayers and will do my best to keep updates posted as we have them each day. Thank you for your partnership in prayer all these years and continuing.

Post Brain Cancer and Conversing

Sometimes it is very hard for me to put my thoughts into words now. A woman wrote this on behalf of her husband who is a Brain Cancer survivor and so beautifully said.  I love this as it feels so good to have someone really understand and connect with how I feel so often. Many times I become overwhelmed with everything around me while trying to have a conversation and the thoughts and words just don’t want to make it out. I may turn and look elsewhere to get my bearings or may have to actually take a brain break to get my mind refocused back to the conversation. Thank you in advance for your patience and grace.

I wrote this on behalf of my husband I wonder how many of you can relate: Siobhan Marshall

My hand starts to shake and I feel very weak,
Can’t seem to think straight need to get off my feet
I don’t understand why I don’t feel the same,
I don’t really feel ill and don’t have any pain
I know you are talking just don’t want to talk back
Please do not take it as a personal attack
I just can’t form the words as quick as you do
So it’s easier to stay silent than talking to you
I know I should feel things I think that I might
But can’t quite comprehend things,
But I’m trying to fight
I know I’m still in here you just have to dig deep
And give me some time
Till I’m ready to speak 😢

 

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Armor Up Today

Ephesians 6:13; “Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you WILL BE ABLE to Resist in the evil day, and having done everything to STAND FIRM.“

Again, one of those verses that I have read over and over but yesterday, the part promising me that if I take up the armor of God, I WILL be able to resist evil. We are not dealing with the word maybe or possibly. We are given the strength by God Himself to be able to resist evil. This does require you to put on the armor of the Lord each day. it is so easy to get caught up in my circumstances instead of making time to cover yourself in the armor of God. I pray today you stop where you are and put on ALL His armor if you have not yet:  the verses are below so please make time to read and pray this over yourself, your family, and anyone you know is in a battle today.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, 15and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; 16in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

      18 With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, Ephesians 6:10-18

Father God, we know we are in a battle that is not always visible to our eyes. Per the scriptures above we are told it is not against flesh and blood yet so often we take it out on one another. May we be reminded today that we are to cry out to you and call on You for strength, help, and power to help us make wise decisions, think on holy thoughts, love one another, serve one another and encourage one another. We also understand that we are weak and it is by Your strength and power alone these battles can be won. So often, I have tried to do all of these things on my own but fail. Thank YOu, Father for not giving up on me but always remaining with me.

“The LORD Himself goes before you; He will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:8 

May you be reminded that you are not alone in the fight. God is with you and so desires for you to know He is present and ready to help: David, talking with God says in Psalm 121:2, “My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.” No matter what you are going through today, the Lord God is near you and desires to help you.  Call on His name and let Him help you. He will guide your steps if you allow Him to help you. HE does not want to harm you but has better plans than you could ever imagine.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.”

In Psalm 139: 16 we see where again, David is talking with God and recognizing His hand over his own life. David acknowledges God knows his days already.

“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

May you go in confidence today believing and understanding that you are greatly loved, adored and have a guide to help you. Go to God, (1)armor up (2)trust that His plans are so much greater than you could ever imagine (3)believe He hears you and will help you.

1 JOhn 5:14: “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.“

Pray with confidence and certainty today that God, our Father, hears your voice. May God make His face to shine upon you and bless you in all you do today that His Name will be magnified and glorified.

Blessings

Mindy

Work Unto The Lord

Last week, I started a new job at our local Elementary/Middle School as A Special education aide. I am assisting one of the two main SPED teachers with students. This was honestly a gift from God, as with teenagers, things are becoming more expensive from food, insurance, etc. I am enjoying the team in this department along with having a daily schedule and routine. I had some insecurities and anxieties, but, God has been so good to me through my bible readings in Exodus. Specifically in chapter 35-36 where God is giving Moses specific instructions for the Israelites and using their skills to build His Temple/Tabernacle. The last few mornings before school started,  I asked God, “how am I to prepare my heart, Your Temple as I walk in this new season so that it remains positive,  encouraging, and always focused on Christ?”

In Exodus 35:10“Let every skillful man among you come, and make all that the LORD has commanded.” from there He shares specifically what is being built.

Wednesday, July 24th, God had me in Exodus 36:1-2 “

“      1“Now Bezalel and Oholiab, and every skillful person in whom the LORD has put skill and understanding to know how to perform all the work in the construction of the sanctuary, shall perform in accordance with all that the LORD has commanded.”

      2Then Moses called Bezalel and Oholiab and every skillful person in whom the LORD had put skill, everyone whose heart stirred him, to come to the work to perform it.

God is so gracious to remind me that HE alone has given me the skills to do the job before me. I also did a bible reading plan, from the bible app, with some of the teachers from our school called “Your Work Matters” which flows perfectly with what all God is growing in me currently: Confidence in Him and rebuilding my heart: His Temple, to refocus on God and His will for my life. I have to be before Him each morning with Thanksgiving or my mind/heart can easily become negative. I want to perform all the work in the reconstruction of His sanctuary, my heart, in accordance with His commands. It will not be easy, but by and through His power it can be done.

PRAYER: how I will communicate and hear from God.

SCRIPTURE: Reading from examples in the bible and learning what is pleasing and right to God.

ACCOUNTABILITY: This is huge as I publicly share things with you all and my close friends. If I am not holding to what I say, then I can be called out, corrected, challenged to turn back to God’s way. (just a thought, read Colossians 4:17 regarding the accountability we have before God regarding the completion of the ministries we have received in the Lord. Might be interesting to understand what God holds each of us accountable to)

What is your biggest challenge in working unto the Lord? In what ways do you need to change or pursue God so you can find Joy in the work with the skills He has given you?

Blessings and may His face shine upon you in all you do and may you glorify His name in all the work He has given you.

Ephesians 2:10 “¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“

GO work for the Lord today and be reminded He has already equipped you so be filled with confidence and Joy.

Before I go, I want to ask continued prayers for:

1. Larry Papizan, for healing, and peace/comfort for his wife, Faith,  their kids Cheree, Rebecca, Stephen, and grandkids walking this road with him.
2. Paul Jenkins as he has completed 3 rounds of his Chemo and has 3 to go. Please pray for his wife Linda as she walks this road with him.
3. Continue to pray for Olivia Streckfuss, her parents Joe & Rebecca as they try to comfort, support and encourage their daughter on her journey with her venous malformation. Pray for doctors to have insight in how to help her, comfort her and limit the pain. Still pray for full healing for this young girl.
4. Please pray for me to have strength each day as I work, to be an encouragement, get enough sleep each night and know when to stop or say no to excess that will take energy away from what God has called me to specifically in this job.
5.  Also, I ask for prayers not to use the hole in my head as an excuse not to serve in a certain capacity for fear of failing or taking too much of my energy. I don’t want to miss out on what God wants me to do or how He wants to use me. Please pray for wisdom and discernment for me each day.

PRAISE:

1. Many of you know early on I met a couple, Steve and Sara in radiation, he had to stop due to so many seizures continuing to happen but he finally finished. I texted with Sara yesterday and Mike has been seizure-free for one year and back at work. Please keep them in your prayers as they don’t want any tumors to come back.

Thank you all for your prayers, checking up on me and know I am doing very well and hope to post a live blog update soon. Each time I tried to record it just did not go how I wanted so I gave up on trying for now. One of these days it will happen. Have a wonderful week and will post again soon. “May the LORD bless you and keep you, may He make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, May the LORD lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace” Numbers 6:24-26. I had a youth minister who prayed this every week after youth group and now, as a pastor, prays this over His congregation. What a prayer and may you know God is with you, for you and so loves you this day. Have a wonderful week.

Much thanks and love

Mindy

18 Month MRI Update & Prayer Requests

Last Thursday I went for an MRI for my 18-month followup. I went in January for an MRI and it was still the same with the scans still having some inflammation around the surgery resection location. The photo below shows the previous scans with the white inflammation.

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Going into the MRI last week, I had anxiety for the first time as I had many headaches this past few months between MRI’s and doctors visits. I wasn’t fearful of the outcome as I really do feel like the cancer is totally gone and have a feeling of great peace. I really can’t explain the anxiety that crept over me driving alone to the new MRI location. Maybe it was a new place farther away to have a higher degree scan for more clarity. It was not because I was alone as I usually go to MRI appts by myself. Maybe it was the little girl screaming as they took her grandpa back and grandma would not suffice. All I remember is a feeling of fear trying to creep into my mind and heart. I immediately got my phone and messaged some people to please start praying, knowing this was not of God whatsoever. I know satan likes to attack at night when I am tired and it’s dark. He also likes to attack when I am alone and more vulnerable. Fortunately, I did not leave the house that morning without having some time with God and suited up with Ephesians 6: God’s full suit of armor.  Helmet of Salvation, Breastplate of Righteousness, Shield of Faith, Belt of Truth, Shod my feet with the readiness of the gospel of peace. My mother gave this to me many years ago and I love seeing her stand so confidently, as all Christians should, knowing that God will never leave them nor forsake them but stand alongside us, walking through each battle or per scripture: Exodus 14:14 ““The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.” He was talking to the Israelites here but it stands for us today, many generations later, that He still fights for us every minute of the day and He is our peace IF we trust in Him.

By the time I was taken back for the MRI I was much calmer, which was good because the nurse could not get the contrast needle in my arm the first two tries. I now have bruised arms and look like someone beat me. I was told it should be gone in a couple of weeks. Just another fun part to the story added. That did not make me nervous either and assumed once I was in the MRI, the nurse would do the contrast easily and it worked; third times a charm. It took around 45 minutes for all the scans and then I was gone. They handed me the disc and home I went. Now for the results.

RESULTS OF MRI:

After last Thursday and not having anyone with me, I mentioned to the texting group I was in that my husband signed up to help at VBS if needed and it just so happened he was and it was at the exact time of my neuro-oncology followup appt. My mother, who was one of the ladies in the texting group was not happy of me going by myself so another friend offered to go and my mother responded with a quick  ” I will answer for Mindy, YES!” and so Erin and I were able to work out together, she went with me and met Dr. P and Charlotte, his NP, who I so love as she is a strong Christian who I can talk with and share with a mutual understanding of who God. No conversation throws her but she just gently listens, responds, and encourages with grace and understanding.  So, covered in peace, joy and having a great day it just got better as Dr. P popped in to say goodbye but was so happy with my scans and you could feel the joy in telling me they looked wonderful and these were the best he’s seen in last 2 years. All the inflammation was gone and said you have many years ahead. Go enjoy your family trip and your life ahead. He sounded very confident that the treatment did its job. I walked out of there very excited and encouraged, almost somewhat giddy while Erin and I’s stomachs were growling and ready for sushi. We headed out for a great meal and God talk. What a great day and then I received some more amazing news: I have been asking you to please pray for Mr. Larry Papizan and his wife Faith as they battle his cancer and received this update later this afternoon and for all of you who have been praying, THANK YOU

Here is my result from today:

Prayer Requests and updates:

1. Larry Papizan. PRAISE & Cont’d prayers requested: 

This is GREAT NEWS! Thank you for your prayers!!! Please continue to pray for him during the last 7 treatments as they are hard on his body. Pray for strength, endurance, peace, and comfort for him and his wife as she walks through this with him. Please pray for the overflowing presence of the Lord in their home, where he gets the infusions and for all doctors and nurses to see God’s hand in all of this. Pray for their 3 children and all their grandchildren as well. May they see God’s hand and His testimony be shared throughout their community and city in Mississippi.

2. Please continue to pray for Olivia Streckfuss as she is home but this week during VBS has had some hard moments as she wants to run and play but it becomes very painful if anyone bumps her leg or it moves wrong. Please pray for strength to be regained in her leg so it does not get weaker. Please pray for endurance, patience, and comfort for her family as they walk this journey with her. May they be covered in God’s wisdom for all circumstances, surgeries, doctor appointments and travel in months or years to come. Please continue to pray for miraculous healing of this disease as doctors are still learning about what all it can do and how to treat it effectively.

3. Julie Keim – a dear friend who has a brain tumor that is inoperable and causes extreme headaches. Pray for it to shrink away as she has no insurance right now and can’t follow up with MRI’s. I am also praying for it to just go away totally. Pray for strength, endurance, comfort as well for this affects eyesight, ears, jaw and more. Lift Julie, Jonas, their whole family up please for total healing.

4. Shannon Lude: Shannon is on hospice and living with a home that takes care of those who really have no understanding of what is going on around them. Please pray for Shannon as she is away from her family. Pray for comfort, peace and rest. May God’s peace be all over her right now.

Thank you all for your prayers for people you do not even know. Thank you for loving Jesus and willing to link arms with people to lift them up before God with cries of healing, mercy, grace, love, strength, hope, and endurance. Blessings and may God make His face to shine upon you all today.

Life’s Connections Part 2

Picking up where I left off with Craig’s story from  Life’s Connections Part 1 per this week, I did not see Craig again until Friday, May 17th. I was working out with a friend and he comes walking up to us both with a big smile and says “I don’t know if you were praying but if so thank you! My test came back negative and nothing is wrong with me.” I replied and shared I had been praying along with some others I had told that day about his tests.  Introduced him to my friend and she and I smiled and talked about God’s goodness for a few minutes before finishing our workout. This is why we connect in life and link arms with one another whether good news or not-so-good news. The joy on his face and honestly, just the thank you for praying for me as he looked like he was walking on a cloud was so worth taking the time to listen, encourage and pray for him daily.

Now, how are you going to go out and connect with lives today? How are you preparing your heart, mind, and body to be in tune with God’s calling today to act on His behalf by being His hands and feet?

Please keep praying for Craig as the doctors want to run some more tests on his stomach just to make sure. He did not seem as nervous sharing this information but I told him we’d be praying. Many more still need prayer and I ask you to also lift up so many other people still please. I am including pictures as this might help as you pray and lift them up in prayer. I always love seeing who I am lifting up in prayer. 

1. Julie Keim: I have not mentioned her in a while and want to bring her back on the current list as she has no insurance so is not able to get the MRI’s she needs to see how her brain tumor is doing. My prayer is that it continues to shrink totally away and God alone can do this Himself. Please keep she and her husband Jonas in your prayers as this has been a long road. Yet, they still go on mission trips, serve in our church, run a business together which includes helping others at minimal cost or not cost as service God calls them too. She has 2 of her kids still at home 14 & 17 than she has 2 in college and a third who just returned from service that come and go from the house weekly. Pray for wisdom, strength, energy and comfort due to headaches she has often.
2. Shannon Lude –     as she is on hospice and not sure how many days/weeks they have given her, she will be at peace and for her kids as they are so far away. They come and go as they can but Indiana is a costly flight away with all those medical bills.
3. Larry Papizan:     fighting cancer that is treatable but not curable. Please pray for peace as he finished treatment #5 and has #6 to go. He is hanging in there but still asking for prayers of God’s will to be done, strength, comfort for he and his family. Pray for his wife Faith as this is hard for her to watch and walk through. Pray for Jesus to hold her firm and His presence to comfort her heart and be her strength as she takes care of her husband as needed. Also for their 3 children and grandchildren.
4. Paul Jenkins: this man is one of our churches door greeters and always has the biggest smile, usually boots, when not 80+ degrees outside, bulletins to hand and welcome anyone into the church. He always has compliments galore flowing out of his gentle heart and mouth. he was just diagnosed with stage 4 cancer this week and we are asking for miraculous healing and he told me Sunday he just wants God to use his life as a testimony for God’s glory. Please lift up his wife Linda as well and that God’s massive hand of comfort will be all over her as she walks this road alongside her husband. I was blessed to do precepts with Linda and she was one of the ladies who made my prayer quilt worn in radiation for 6 weeks. Amazing, godly woman and man!
5. Olivia Streckfuss:     Please keep praying for Olivia as the surgery was successful and here is Rebecca’s most recent update from Wednesday morning: Bit of a rough morning with complications with her iv line and some other pains but she did great with her PT assessment and was discharged. She is now happy & resting and looking forward to get back to AZ with her dad & sisters. We are very thankful for the wonderful nurses at Lennox Hill Hospital and the great doctors and staff at the AVM center. Yeah, she is coming home!!! Praise the Lord for HE IS GOOD!

Please join me in linking arms in prayer with all of these people in my life. I am not sure who is in your life going through tough times, but I ask you to write out your own list to link arms with each day. Maybe write a card, bring flowers, stop by for a hug, share a funny story. run an errand, cook a meal. Create your own email list and pray together linking arms in your church or community. I do believe that satan is trying to destroy Christians faith right now through disease and sickness. If he can get our eyes off God into doubt, fear and on our own circumstances then he will drag us into a pit he will use to make us miserable christians instead of keep people away from God because why would people want to follow God when we are walking around moping, angry? We are still to find joy in God not our circumstance regardless of the outcome. I am fully understanding that is easier some days than others but want to challenge you to still lift your head very high to Jesus Christ, cry out in praise and thank Him for what He has done in your life or even someone you know. Praise Him now for loving you and dying for you. He so loves you friend. Blessings and may God make His face to shine upon you today and fill you with His neverending peace, love and joy.